Someone hadn't scarred my face.
I hadn’t followed my dreams to LA.
That tweaker hadn't attacked that homeless guy.
I hadn't invited a stranger over for Thanksgiving.
I hadn’t fallen in love.

If I hadn’t lost him.
I hadn’t gone for that drive.
I saw the world like everyone else.
My “genius” wasn’t slowly destroying me.
I had just walked away before I could ever know her.
She hadn’t ignited the spark.

If the spark didn’t ignite the madness.

This is a new adult romance. NOT erotica. Standalone novel.

RELEASE DATE: March 15 2015

If Cover


Her cries looked like shards of glass, a sour flavor assaulted my taste buds, my fingertips felt like they were being pricked with needles. They would not snuff her light, they would not dull her laughter. She was the only thing in this world that connected me to my old self. Suddenly I cared again, if only for that moment. Those sick fucks would not hurt her.

My numbness was mangled from the inside with a fury that detonated like a bomb. I didn’t even feel the knife as it dug into my flesh.

That girl, for some reason, I couldn’t shut it off with her. I saw her just as vividly as I used to see everything.

She made me want to create again. That was dangerous. Far more dangerous than anything these stupid muggers could have done. I had to keep the desire at bay or else I would lose control. Because my art destroys the people I care about. It turns me into a monster.

Up until that point, the redheaded girl who shined like a beacon in the mist was an empty threat. There was an invisible barrier, where girls like her didn’t see guys who lurked in alleyways. I was safe from her ability to break through to the parts of my brain that had been made dormant through copious amounts of medication.

Yet, somehow, there she was, seeing me. Glimmering in the dark alleyway like some sort of guardian angel that I didn’t want.

I tried so hard not to exist, but she was forcing me to. She was forcing me to partake in life.

I wanted to die, but she forced me to live. 

And I wasn’t happy about it

About The Author
Nina G. Jones is the author of the bestselling novel DEBT, the Strapped Series and the erotic romance, Gorgeous Rotten Scoundrel. She wants to say something clever here, but all her good material goes into her characters.
Nina currently resides in Milwaukee, WI with her husband and two crazy Boxers.
Her first new adult romance, If, releases on March 16th, 2015 under the moniker N.G. Jones.
Nina LOVES connecting with readers. You can connect with her via Facebook, Twitter, or through this site.



   My rating: 5 of 5 stars

If took me completely by surprise. I didn't expect the kind of book the author wrote.
Yet I knew it wasn't like my typical read,
Yet there's a warning at the beginning of the book
Yet the author made it perfectly clear this is not a usual romance. And that this is not erotica.

To be honest, I applied to receive the book because I was still high after I read her book Debt at the end of last year. I was captivated by her writing and her ability to have my attention on something that was disturbing.

When I saw there was a new release I didn't look more and I applied, I committed.
When the first warning came, I wondered if the book would still appeal to me. The blurb was vague and I think it was wanted by the author.
I was scared before I even began the book and I was a little embarrassed because I had the sensation I wouldn't like the book.


Yeah I know I'm horrible :( but let me tell you I will NEVER feel this way from now on!
Because no matter what you think about a book, don't let your fear rule you!

Now I'm so happy, I stick to my commitment. I read If and once again Ms Jones blew me away!
I don't know what's with her and her writing but from part 2 in this book I was a goner. I couldn't put this book down. Imagine, my boyfriend had to wait to eat because I had lunch to prepare but I couldn't stop reading


As I said, the blurb is vague and I think it's wanted so I'm sorry but you won't have a lot of explanation on my part.


Bird and Ash meets when they are both in a bad place. Their meeting wasn't supposed to happen.
Bird wasn't supposed to interpose between Ash and his aggressors.
Ash wasn't supposed to react when those same aggressors tried to hurt Bird.

But If all this never happened, Bird would have never talked to this stranger she has seen several times at the same spot. A stranger who seemed so lost, so lonely, yet with something that caught her eyes.
If all this never happened, Ash would have never talked to this stranger he has seen several times. He would have never wanted to satisfy his own curiosity because there's something that Bird has and no else :color around her in his grey world

~We can't live our lives with what ifs~

Bird is a 21 years old girl full of dreams. She dance and she is good at it. But in L.A., with the beauty standard you have these day being good is not enough and when you have scars on your face, rejection is a common word for you.

Ash is a 21 years old guy full of regrets and shame. As you can imagine he feels this way because something terrible happened to him but you wouldn't be able to guess what's behind this young man. And I'm afraid if I say a single thing, I'll ruin everything that's beautiful in him and his journey.


Bird is mesmerized by him without really knowing why and I had the same feeling. From the beginning you want to understand why Ash suffers so much, why he seems so off.


Be prepared to be taken in a world full of surprise, full of emotions, full of hurt, full of colors, full of desires.

Nina G. Jones wrote a magnificent book where you can live and feel the emotions. Her writing will carry you away in another place. You will want to look for things that's happening, you will want more information on what she delivers - At least that's what I did while reading.

I don't read those kind of books because I don't deal well with characters who are in pain or who suffer too much. But here you immediately feel there's more to Ash than the guy who wants to stay hidden.


They are several special subjects that are developed and I don't know the extent of the author involvement. I only know what she told on her social media sites (that it was special to her that she felt close to) but she did an outstanding research job. I'm not a specialist but everything is well explained and you won't feel left behind.
She delivers something real, something passionate, something special and you can only let you be taken away with her words

The book is divided in three parts and while part 1 was a little slow for me, when I was in part 2 I understood better why she took her time (nearly 40%) to set down her story, to give us a little background for Bird and Ash.

Throughout the book I smiled, I cried, I was stunned, speechless, surprised. I felt excited, disgusted, in awe, curious, impatient, nervous, sad, and impatient. I had questions, doubts and wishes. And at the end, I was happy. I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day after what I experienced with IF.

~Love is accepting someone, flaws and all~

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